Reflections of an SAE: Time, Tradition, and the True Gentleman
Many moons ago, I walked the grounds of Washington and Lee University as a brother of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE). It was an era before mobile phones, social media, and instant documentation of everything we did. Looking back, it doesn’t surprise me that SAE has found itself in the spotlight for disciplinary issues in more recent times. In our day, the system wasn’t perfect either—I suppose to some degree I participated and was participated upon—but when I exited, I had no marks against me, nor any on me.
It’s been forty years since those days, and while time has a funny way of blurring the edges of certain memories, some things remain crystal clear. The Honor Code of Robert E. Lee, ingrained in every student at W&L, is one such constant. Another is the True Gentleman, the passage written by John Walter Wayland in 1899, which we held as a guiding principle at SAE. Even now, those words resonate deeply with me.
Perhaps time does heal all wounds, and maybe I’ve forgotten some of the rougher parts of those days. But I hold onto the important things—the ideals of honesty, integrity, and honor that I strive to live by. The notion of a True Gentleman, one who is humble, honorable, and considerate of others, remains a compass in my life.
There’s something timeless about those values, and though life has changed drastically since my days at W&L, the essence of what it means to be a gentleman hasn’t. In fact, in today’s world, where everything is instantaneous and fleeting, I find that the True Gentleman resonates more than ever. So, forty years on, I still strive to embody those words, to live up to the ideals set before me all those years ago. Time, tradition, and the simple truth of being a gentleman—those are the things that matter.
THE TRUE GENTLEMAN
The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.
-John Walter Wayland