Someone once said this to me;

“You have clearly mastered the art of suffering. But do you even have the first clue about being happy?” I was speechless (very unusual for me).

Me? Me!

The pursuit of happiness can feel elusive. We are bombarded with messages telling us that happiness lies in material possessions, success, or the approval of others. However, Stoicism offers a different perspective on happiness—one that is rooted in internal tranquility rather than external circumstances. Hard to catch, but you know it when you have it.

At the core of Stoicism is the belief that we cannot control the external events that happen to us, but we can control how we respond to them. This idea is encapsulated in the famous Stoic quote attributed to Epictetus: “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” By focusing on our internal state rather than external events, Stoics believe that we can achieve a sense of inner peace and contentment that is not dependent on external circumstances. The Reinhold Niebuhr  creed, shared extensively by the YMCA, AA, and Hallmark Cards, says it well…

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this world
As it is, not as I would have it;

Another important Stoic principle is the practice of “negative visualization,” which involves imagining the loss of the things we value in order to appreciate them more fully. By contemplating the impermanence of all things, Stoics believe that we can cultivate gratitude for what we have and avoid becoming overly attached to material possessions or transient pleasures. I find this exercise painful, but centering, so I use it sparingly.

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”